


follow me (and I'll keep you safe)

by lemonheadlester



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anxiety, M/M, Roller Coasters, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 09:47:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17119046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonheadlester/pseuds/lemonheadlester
Summary: People ride roller coasters to feel free. It's a feeling we as humans actively seek out, but just like humans, these rides aren't perfect.





	follow me (and I'll keep you safe)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [afunnyworld](https://archiveofourown.org/users/afunnyworld/gifts).



Air swirls around me like a mini tornado, lifting the stray hairs from my face and haphazardly tousling them in a way that leaves them standing upright when the wind dies down.

My light coat is not enough to block out the breeze, but I don't quite mind it. It's a rather beautiful day with the sun shining down so broth the ground sparkles back up at the cloudless sky. It's a refreshing feeling, something different than the usual cold, foggy england weather that I'm used to. This isn't even England at all.

Being in an entirely different country is hardly new for me. I've come to Florida every winter holiday without fail. Although this annual trip is old news, there's nothing about being here that ever gets stale. Not the climate, nor the people or the atmosphere. I've always loved the states, ever since I was a kid, and every time I'm here is a different experience.

And no, it's not always sunny. It doesn't smell of oranges just like if you were to go to Canada you don't smell maple syrup, but aside from the stereotypes, it's just one of those places that you could quickly identify just by seeing it.

It's unlike anywhere I've ever been. It's so...colourful. As they don't get snow here, which is unfathomable in itself, the trees are all bright green shades that sway in the wind, popping out against the sky. The grass is even greener, no pun intended, and even the buildings and houses here seem to all pop out at you, especially in the city.

Unlike the monochrome feel of England, this certain Floridian vibe is what keeps me coming back every year.

This time, I'm in a new city, a new theme park. You haven't really conquered the state of Florida until you've gone to every single park. Today I’m in Busch Gardens, and even though some of the rides scare me just from looking at them, I’ve been dying to try some of the others. I have even had to stop myself from looking up recordings of the rides on youtube because I want the entire experience to be a surprise. It was tempting, but worth the wait.

Now that I’m here, I can’t pass up the chance to ride one of the most popular roller coasters here.  _ The Sheikra. _

I never understood why people didn’t talk about this park as much as  _ Disney or Universal  _ because it’s already starting to become my favourite. And if I can’t do everything I want to do today, I’m definitely coming back another time, perhaps even several more times.

If I weren’t here on holiday with family, I would come to places like this every day I was visiting.

The thing is however, I do have a slight fear of heights. I've slowly been able to overcome it, but there are some rides I just would not be able to handle. Just looking at them makes me feel sick.

As I'm standing in line waiting for the next ride to start, I bounce on my feet nervously. The more time I have to anticipate, the more anxious I become.  _ What if this  _ and  _ What if that's  _ fly through my head, making me have second thoughts.

But my excitement wins over, especially once we're queuing up to be the next ones on and I see not only that I'm in the front car, but the rather pretty boy I'll potentially be sitting next to. My mind goes numb.

_ Oh my god. _

I have to force myself not to stare, because he really is that beautiful. With a slightly curled haircut similar to mine and smooth skin that I suddenly want to touch, dark brown eyes and a slim body that shivers slightly away from the winds, it's like he has me in this trance without even noticing I was there.

_ Would I want him to see me? Should I introduce myself? _

All of the different things I could say overwhelm my mind. From trying to come up with good ice breakers to asking him a simple question to just telling him what I'm really thinking, the possibilities are endless.

Inevitably, I end up saying nothing at all. I choose down any words that come to mind and continue  to stare at we make our way to the front of the line.

I take the chance to study him more. He constantly smooths his hair down, trying to calm the frizz. It had obviously been straightened this morning, and I can't help but wonder if he's  insecure about it.

Oh, I can't stand here and make assumptions. He's a stranger for god's sake. What's wrong with me?

Despite the guilt pounding in my chest, I still watch him like a hawk. The way he shuffles along with the crowded line and grabs the rope next to him every so often. When he smiles while he looks at something on his phone, I notice the dimple that forms in his cheek.

It quickly fades, which saddens me because I wanted more time to see it. I wished I could see his smile for another second, as crazy as it sounds.

Obviously I can't fall over my feet for a stranger, I don't even know his name. I'm not sure if it's even possible for me to do so, but the rational side of my brain seems to be losing this battle as I continue to stare.

There's something about him that causes my heart to flutter inside my chest. Nonetheless, I say nothing.

I watch his posture and the way he presents himself. It's a mixture of shy, confident, excited and even a bit nervous. His fingers curl slightly every time there's a gust of wind, like he's trying to trap his body heat under his palm. He's not wearing any coat, only a long sleeve, but you don't even really need heavy winter coats here. If he had been wearing any kind of jacket I'd assume he dropped it off in a locker before getting in line for the ride.

Once the next train comes round, my feel my breath stutter and my mouth go dry. I had been so focused on this mystery person that nearly forgot where I was.

And of course, as if fate was playing a cruel joke on me, I was the very last person in the row, and we end up sitting right next to each other.

It was hard enough not to stare when his back was mostly towards me, but now that he's right next to me, sat so close I can smell a hint of shampoo, I can barely breathe, nor help myself when I catch my eyes drifting towards him.

I snap my head away each time.  _ Damn idiot. _

I swear under my breath when he turns his head towards me, understandably confused.

“You nervous?” He wonders. It only takes two seconds for me to realize the question is directed to me.

My stuttering kicks in when I try to respond. “I-I, what?”

He smiles, eyes glistening under the sun so that I find myself staring, speechless.

“It’s okay. This is probably my favourite ride here, you know. You'll love it.”

That's when I notice something about him, something that may as well be a miracle.

His accent. Soft, warm. I recognize it instantly.

He's from England too. From the south, presumably. If I didn't believe in miracles before I sure as hell do now.

“No way…” I gasp. “You're from England too?” I already know the answer, but double checking wouldn't hurt.

“I am!” He confirms, eyes lighting up once he realizes how much of a strike of luck this has to be. “What are the chances!”

Instantly, I forget how afraid I'd been to approach him. He became the easiest person to talk to just like that.

He immediately begins telling me about is hometown and asking me about mine. I still stagger my words as I speak to him, but I don't notice it as much because he genuinely interests me, so I listen without even realizing we had begun to move.

My breath catches almost to the rhythm of his eyes when he blinks away the sun, eventually covering his forehead with the back of his hand in a way that's impossibly endearing. The sudden shift in the car's movement catch's me by surprise, but not enough for me to take my eyes off of this boy.

“So what's your name?” I wonder, thinking if I can keep talking to him, then I won't build up as much anticipation on the way up the ride.

As we make our way around the turn and the sun glistens through the trees off to the side, providing a warm atmosphere around me and this boy, who seems to be smiling right back at me.

He averts his gaze for a second, almost breathless when he looks up and sees the climb we are about to make. He sighs.

“Dan.” He answers. “And you?”

“I’m Phil. Nice to meet you.”

Before he gets a chance to answer, the car shifts it's angle and suddenly, we're facing the afternoon sky.

I lose my breath temporarily, clinging to my restraints as a reminder that I'm safe. I'll be okay, this is supposed to be fun.

I manage to keep my eyes off of the massive drop ahead and in Dan, although the bright red colour makes it difficult enough. Out of the corner of my eyes however, I can still see it, hovering menacingly. I finally jump and freeze in place once I see the train ahead of us approaching the drop, hanging their for several seconds before they fall, and are gone from my sight.

I start shaking when I hear the distant screeches. They sounded happy, carefree. That's what I want to feel. I want to let go.

“I'm so anxious now.” I can hear Dan's voice half-whispering next to me, like he read my mind. “But I guess that's the intent of the experience.”

He notices me quickly, and I'm embarrassed by what he's seen. I didn't know I'd be this scared, but was it worth it to meet someone who I now fear will judge me for being terrified of an amusement park ride?

What happens next is something I don't expect. Something that makes me forget how to breathe faster than watching that train drop did.

Dan grabs my hand.

“It’s okay. “ he assures me softly. “It's alright to be nervous, hell I am too.”

“Just look at the sky.” He points up. “If you focus on that instead of looking down, it'll be so much more enjoyable.”

I don't understand what he means until I do what he says. Unlike before when I was shrouded by trees and could barely see above, now it's all I can see besides to remaining tracks ahead of us on the long journey up. I see a baby blue sheet of a calming void and I sink into my seat. Although there are no clouds, I can see subtle hints of white scattered through the air whimsically, as if they had been spray painted on. I can feel Dan's fingers lacing tightly with mine. He blushes instantly, and I can feel a slight heat on my own face, giving my thoughts away.

“If you want, I can hold your hand for the ride.” He offers. “It'll be fun once we get going, it's just the anticipation that sucks at first.”

It's purely reassurance, innocent, friendly. Holding hands with a cute stranger, who doesn't seem to bothered by how tight I squeeze. It's accidental, but I don't have to say that.

“You seem very well versed in what to expect.” I observe. “Have you rode this before?”

“Yes, and you have nothing to worry about.” He assures me. “I just came over from falcon's fury, which has much worse anticipation than this does.”

I stop breathing when I think of the ride he's referring too.

“Wait. You mean that tall drop thingy?”

“Yes.” He clarifies. “It takes you up, turns you so you're facing the ground, and holds you there for a randomized amount of time before it drops you back down.”

“I feel sick just thinking about that.” I make a sound mimicking one of puking just to show my discomfort for the idea.

Dan laughs, squeezing my hand gently as a reminder that he's still holding it, as I'd I didn't trust he'd actually keep a hold of it.

I think back to the train I saw before us, remembering how they hung from the coaster earlier. I express my concern to Dan.

“Doesn't this ride have a similar drop though?”

He shakes his head. “Yeah, but it's only a ninety degree angle or something like that. You'll stare down the drop for a few seconds but its not as intense as the falcon.”

As we turn upward on the climb I stare straight ahead, the world seeming to move around us like a snow globe, and that's when I see it.

The view of the city from the top of the ride.

“It’s so beautiful.” I gasp. Dan chuckles at my amazement.

“You don't see things like this back in England.”

The sun shines over the park, glowing off of the track's in can see barely through the thickness of the trees. I can see the city in the distance and miles and miles of  _ green. _

I look back to the sky, then back to Dan.

“I’m glad I ran into you.” I say without thinking, relieved I was able to before I changed my mind. I'm sure he agrees by the way he smiles and tilts his head to the side, keeping our fingers securely laced.

Maybe it's not so bad, to talk to a stranger. Now that we're up here and I feel like I'm on top of the world I can see things much more clearly. I take a deep breath of fresh air and enjoy the clarity, as scary as it may be.

We're slowly making the final turn and I can see the drop just in front of us. The train is floorless, so I feel like I'm floating as we start to approach.

And then the car title us and we're facing down the steep drop.

I can see the rest of the ride in front of us and I close my eyes, waiting for it to start.  _ It's just the anticipation.  _ I remind myself.  _ The rest will be great. _

I begin to count down the seconds in my head. It’s no more than a few, really. I remember what Dan told me and I take deep breaths while I hold tightly to his hand, feeling my weight pushing against my restraints as we hang over the threatening drop. I swear they make them like that on purpose. Intentionally, it’s supposed to make us feel as if we’re about to fall out.

_ That’s the intent of the experience.  _ Dan had told me. It calms my mind enough to open my eyes and look down to the ground again, the back to Dan

I count to two, then to three.

Dan rubs his thumb across the back of my hand as a reminder. He’s much better at handling this than I am, and even though I just met him I know I trust him.

His eyes are in the ride, but mine are on him. And as if time itself slowed, I’m only watching him and the way the sun shines on his face and makes him squint his eyes in such a way that has me wondering how he could get any more adorable. The way his eyes crinkle and the fondness in his restricted stare, the only thing on my mind is him and the numbers I’m still counting.

Five. I’ve counted to five by this point. Seems we’ve gotten the longer amount of time than the last group did. I’m not sure how I feel about that now, but I’ll surely have a better grip on my thoughts after this is over.

I find myself shaking as a breeze blows over us and has us staring back down again, knocking the oxygen from our chests and our minds from each other. I know I don’t have to worry, but I don't even know what the range of time is that we can be dropped. I’m starting to feel the impatience crawling up in my stomach along with a lurching feeling, similar to the one you’d get if you swung to high on a swing set.

Seven.

_ Maybe it's longer than I expected.  _ I try to rationalize. The distant mumbling coming from behind me doesn’t help, but I still manage to ease the rising discomfort in my head. That is until the seconds begin to feel like minutes and I’m finally no longer able to distract myself from the uncertainty.

Ten.

Something's not right.

“Dan?” I squeak, facing him frantically and darting my eyes to see the terrified looks on other people’s faces. He remains motionless, face paler than snow.

“Dan!?” I repeat, causing him to snap out of his daze and tighten his fingers around my palm.

“Dan, what’s going on?”

My breaths grow increasingly faster. It doesn’t help when someone from the back row screams.

“What the hell!?”

Someone else from the same row starts crying. I can’t see them, but they seem to be much younger, and very clearly frightened.

“I have no clue.” Dan whispers. I can tell by the way he restrains his voice that he’s trying to stay calm, but I can see the look in his eyes. By this point, everyone in the train has come to the same realization.

We’re stuck.

The mumbles grow into protests and cries. Some demand answers while others are just plain scared. Everyone else, including Dan and I are looking around to see if we can find someone who might be on their way to help us, or at least explain what’s happening.

A few possibilities arise in my mind, none of them good. I think about how this ride has more than one train. They may not have had time to hold them back before we got stuck and it could be on it’s way no to run into us. I think about this coaster’s resistance. It seems sturdy when you first look at it, but while we’re sat here hanging off a ledge it suddenly doesn’t seem so perfect anymore. We could fall at any moment. What if it starts back up and something goes wrong? What if we end up stuck here for hours, all night, or even days?

Some of my logic makes no sense, but at this point I could honestly care less. At the rate my thoughts are racing I can only tell myself that there’s no point in trying to decide what is and is not realistic when we’re hanging on the edge of a ride that is not supposed to break down in the first place.

The more I think about it the more terrifying it becomes. The feeling of hanging by a thread has never been more present, the exact opposite of whatever weightlessness you’re supposed to feel on these rides. It feels like any moment our weight will become too much and we'll fall to our deaths.

_ Our deaths _ . I suddenly find myself thinking about death now. I wish I could ridicule such a thing actually happening, because it's unlikely. I've heard stories of things like this happening all the time. All I know is there's still a chance something could go wrong.

Being a nervous person, I can’t say I’ve never thought about dying before, but surely not in this way. In my mind at this moment, all that really registers are the chances of me actually dying today.

“Phil.” Dan gasps as he seems to notice my overly tense state. “Breathe, everything’s going to be fine okay? Just breathe.”

I can't calm down, I'm never able to.

Unexpectedly, I seem to be able to grasp each inhale and take each exhale slowly as Dan reaches over and rubs my arm. I look over at him and see his concern, mostly filled with amazement as I gaze at him. The more he walks me through it the easier it becomes. I'm still nowhere near  _ calm,  _ but I've found a reasonable middle ground.

“Th-thanks.” I stutter, tripping over my words as I continue to control my breathing as best as I can. “No one’s ever done that for me before.”

He raises his eyebrows in curiosity. “Never?”

“Never.”

HIs expression loosens, and I don’t know if he feels sorry or confused, or even both for the matter. This isn’t a discussion I normally have with people, and certainly not with those I just met.

But Dan is different from anyone else I’ve ever come across. He seems to get it. I’ve trusted him more already than I have most of my friends and family.

“You’re on the verge of a panic attack, Phil.” He notes, saying it as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “How could I sit here and do nothing? How could anyone just, not do anything?”

“I’m not sure.” I sigh. “I’ve just learned to ignore it and I guess everyone else has too.”

Dan’s hand shifts down my arms, his skin grazing my goosebumps and sending shockwaves up to my shoulder. He firmly grabs my hand again and smiles with a newfound confidence.

“I won’t ignore it, ever.”

I don't know what exactly hearing those words does to me physically, but it seems to do the trick. I allow myself to close my eyes as long as I can still feel his delicate touch.

It feels scary and different because it seems like I've known him forever. No one has ever had the effect on me before. Dan seems to know exactly what to say, what to do and when to do it, like an angel sent down to relieve me of the anxiety I’ve dealt with for so long. It’s like he can read my mind, but not in a strange way, but in a pleasant way.

“Thank you for um, for understanding, I guess?” I manage awkwardly, unable to articulate exactly what it is I’m feeling. He nods, continuing the subtle motions with the pads of his fingers against the back of my hand. He opens his mouth and quickly hesitates, unsure if he should say what’s on his mind, the gesture clear.

In the gradually growing silence behind us, I can hear in the distance, an  _ evanescence _ song from a few years ago playing through the speakers in the park below us. I don’t mean to look down, but out of pure curiosity I do.

My heart surges but what I’m more focused on are the people who have gathered by the side of the ride, towards the end where the splash zone is and the crowded line at the start. Despite the clouds that are forming above seemingly out of thin air, the crowd just seems to grow thicker. They obviously care more about what’s happening with us than being soaked by a florida storm, and honestly I don’t know whether to be flattered or frightened.

“Phil, come on.” Dan whisper-shouts, tugging at my wrist gently. “You’re gonna make yourself sick if you stare too long.”

“Wait!” I protest, catching a glimpse of someone who looks like they work here. ‘Someone’s coming.”

Now dan’s looking too, eyes as wide as mine. A short man who couldn’t be any older than his mid-twenties appears, parting the crowd with a megaphone in hand.

“We’re going to get you folks down from there, alright?” Is the first thing he says. He sure seems to know how to work a crown full of emotions, because he already has the attention of everyone both on the ground and in the train.That’s probably what make people like him good at this kind of job. We listen closely and calmly.

“It’s not rare for rides like this to jam every now and then. You will not fall. The worst that will happen is the drop starts functioning again, then the ride would just continue as normal.”

His tone is short and to the point, leaving no room for misinterpretation and reassuring every passenger stuck along with us.

“Our goal right now is to try and get you down first. Maintenance and fire rescue are both on their way, so try and remain calm because you may be up there for a bit.”

My stomach stirs in an unpleasant way and has me looking right back up to Dan. I feel the blood rushing back down through the rest of my body as I stare at him with a dumbfounded expression, causing him to laugh.

“God, I wish we had some entertainment or something.” He jokes. “Waiting is cruel. I feel like I'm getting older already.”

I smile. “Well at least you have me to talk to.”

Dan’s eyes light up, lips parting in surprise. He takes my hand again.

“That I do.”

It's the way he says it, warm eyes lighting up at the thought of being stuck with me. It sends a pulsing shock down my spine that feels quite nice.

I could get used to this. Used to him. Dan, he effortlessly knows how to help me through the thing that has been holding been holding me back most of my life as if the solution had been common sense. He understands my point of view, and I wonder briefly if there's a reason for that.

He Laughs, an awkward chuckle that snaps me out of my thoughts and back into reality, in which I had just been staring at Dan for who knows how long.

“S-sorry.” I stutter. “I know it sounds stupid, but I feel like having you to look at helps distract me from, you know.”

“No! I get it.” His voice cracks. “It's not stupid.”

We watch as the chaos below us dies down and a few people go on their ways. The line to the ride is closed off and people are being led out. It would be safe to assume that this thing won't be up and running any time soon, and even if it was, no one would take a chance right away.

I have the urge to take a picture but I had left my phone in a locker. They didn't require riders to leave their phones but I would never risk it. Even if I had, I'd be too paranoid about dropping it.

I decide to take a mental picture instead, but not of the city or the sky, but of the curly haired person sat to my left.

His hair is curly. I hadn't really taken much notice of  _ how _ curly, but beneath those waves his baby hairs are starting to curl, and boy am I obsessed with the way he looks. It's probably unhealthy, how fast I've fallen. There's just something about him that makes him unlike anyone else I've ever known.

I smile. Thunder rumbles gently in the distance but I'm able to remain calm. Dan and I look up to see the dusty grey colour that had not been there before, slowly swallowing the sunlight over the city.

“It’s a wonderful view, isn't it?”

“What?” I mumble dumbfoundedly. “It's a storm. It's not the most pleasant weather. I thought we came to the ‘sunshine state’ to get _away_ from the rain?”

Dan just shakes his head. “No, I find it very beautiful, in its own way.”

Seeing the way he admires such a simple thing, it's interesting. It's a whole new side of him. A relaxed, slack shouldered, slow breathing Dan. A boy who caught my attention for first glance and continues to hold it as he stares out into the distant city with a sort of inquisitive expression. His features all focus on one thing, one thing that's unbeknownst to me, or anyone else besides him. His face is soft, I can see it under the changing light, how different he looks. More casual. More...genuine.

He seems more himself with the curled hair and the sentimental statements, and I feel lucky just to have seen it.

“What would we do without rain?” He whispers, clearly not thinking I was still listening. He obviously has no clue how much if am effect his words have on me, how just seeing him causes my blood to run double its speed.

“It really is very pretty.”

“I think you're pretty.” I blurt before I can take it back. I feel the air freeze, the rain sprinkling between us and dripping down our faces, our shocked expressions mirrored.

He sucks in a breath. “I-I uh-”

“Attention!” The same megahorn voices from before bellows below us.

Everyone turns their heads down to face the announcer, but I can't do it. I listen, because I can't look down.

Dan told me to look at the sky, so that's what I do.

“Due to the weather conditions there will be a bit of a delay. We cannot risk the ride starting up again in the rain so we've shut it down. Hang in there.”

More thunder sounds, accompanied by a single stroke of white flash through the sky.

Lightning.

People go for whatever cover they can to cover themselves, from hoodies to sweaters, to some people just braving the cold and taking their shirts off to substitute for an umbrella.

Dan just sits there motionless, letting the rain drench him and his hair curl all the way to its natural state. I wrap my jumper tighter around me as I shiver. There's a look of sympathy in Dan's eyes, as I'm on the very last isle and have nothing but the air to my side, whereas people in the middle have human shields to protect them from the winds that add an unbearable element to the storm, creating the ultimate trifecta of cold.

Dan digs into his pocket, pulling his phone out. At first I assume he's planning to take pictures, but I don't understand why he's willing to risk his phone getting wet from the rain. Instead of take a few photo, he flips the camera into selfie mode, brushing his fingers through his hair and cursing his curls under his breath.

“You look fine.” I quip. “Don’t worry about it.”

He shakes his head, staring into the camera with subtle intensity.

“It’s this thing I do.” he explains quickly, smoothing the waves back with his palm. “For youtube.”

I feel my heart stop and my jaw drop.

“Now way. You're serious?”

“Yeah, why?”

He stares at me as if I'm going to judge him. I know that's what he's thinking when his shoulders shy away from my stare, because I know that feeling of embarrassment all too well.

“I do YouTube too!” I squeak. I suddenly don't feel so cold anymore as I'm overwhelmed with excitement. This must be fate. It had to be.

“No way!” Dan's breath catches in disbelief. He turns his head as far to the side as the seat lets him with wide eyes. “Next thing you knows you're going to end up being my distant cousin or something.”

“Maybe we're long lost twins. “ I joke, grinning like an idiot. It seems crazy, having so much in common with him, but I'm not as surprised as I thought I'd be. Maybe he ‘fit they type’ or already hit me with enough surprises that I had grown used to it, but I find it rather amazing how this is so natural for us.

I still can't stop staring at him. Yes, I originally found him pretty. That was my motivation to follow him, to talk to him, but now there's more to him than just that.

“I really hope we aren't, because I find you rather cute.” I blurt without regret. He instantly grins, his entire face lighting up as a contrast to the rain running down his cheeks the same way tears would.

“I find you kind of cute as well.” He giggles. His cheeks are growing red and he doesn't look cold anymore. I know I'm definitely not.

The rain picks up a bit, and Dan's hands immediately go to his hair. My attention is drawn to the strands that curl his forehead and the water that drips even after he shakes his head, trying to rid his head of the rain. It's incredibly endearing.

I reach over and take his hand before it goes back into his hair. He whines, still shaking his head, but he doesn't try to pull away.

“I like your curls.” I reassure him. His fingers falter before relaxing between mine, all tension fading away. I've never been this comfortable with anyone else before.

He averts his eyes from mine. “I like your face.”

The embarrassment he feels is clear. I want to poke fun at him, but I can't really say much when I feel my own cheeks heating up.

It feels weird to be flirting with him like this, but it doesn't feel wrong in any way. It's just strange. I've never felt this way about anyone before.

I laugh. “You might want to make your vlog before you turn into a tomato.”

He breaks out into a fit of laughter along with me, one so loud it probably confuses everyone in the train with us.

“Says you.” He shoots, but he does start the recording on his phone, making sure we're both in shot and the angle is decent.

It may seem weird to others how we're recording ourselves, but no one says anything. I've somehow gotten used to vlogging in public, and by the looks of it Dan has too.

“Hey there!” He greets in a voice that I can tell is his camera voice. It's high pitched whereas  his normal voice, it's soft and natural. It's the voice I may have fallen for.

“We’re stuck on the sheikra at Busch gardens and it's raining.“

“It's so cold!” I add, shivering for effect.

Dan turns the phone towards me so that I'm entirely in shit and he's off to the side. He doesn't risk holding it to where he couldn't catch it if he were to drop it. “Oh, I made a friend!” He chirps. “Say hi Phil!”

“Hiii!” I wave to the camera.

“He’s a fellow lad. We somehow happened to meet here in Florida. “

I nod. “It’s quite a small world.”

“He's actually a has a channel as well, don't you Phil? “ He looks at me fondly. I haven't even told him what it was it what it is I do, but he didn't hesitate to say that.

“Yes, I do!”

“I'll let you know what happens as soon as we get off this ride, and Phil's channel will be linked in the description.” Dan rushes to wrap up the video ad the rain starts to pour. “Bye guys!”

“You know, we should totally collab one day.” He suggests as he shoves his phone back in his pocket after wiping it off. His eyes waver towards mine but his head stays down. I can tell he feels embarrassed.

The statement catches me by surprise. Did he really just say that?

I could just imagine it. The two of us sitting on my bed, or his, doing some kind of stupid challenge that's going around. And then after we might do something else-

No, I can't have thoughts like that. Yeah he was flirting with me, but there's no need for me to already be having thoughts like this, it's wrong of me to.

“I guess you didn't think you'd be vlogging at the top of a rollercoaster with a complete stranger.” I huff, meeting his sideways gaze.

He lifts his head and his lips twitch up for a second. He wants to smile but he's holding back. Maybe pointing out the obvious was a bad decision, but what he says is the last thing I expect.

“I don't think of you as a stranger, Phil.” He assured me. “We're friends, are we not?”

I feel my heart stutter to a stop. Friends?

“That is of course, if you want to be.”

I can't help but slowly turn my lips up into a smile. I notice the tear in my eye when Dan inadvertently mimics the giggle that escapes me.

“No I don't want to be your friend.” I dramatize my voice for effect, watching his expression fall for a quick second until he picks up on the sarcasm. “I only bloody followed you through the line so I could get front row.”

He laughs at the irony in my joke. “Yeah well...I'm sure you're regretting that decision now.”

The statement send my eyes, forward and to the ground. Yes, I'm scared, but I don't regret a thing.

“It's worth going through this if it means I got to meet you.”

Dan pauses for a minute, glancing added and twisting his lips into a half-smile.

“Well that's cheesy as hell.” He mumbles.

I'm about to respond when the sudden pressure of the seat restraints pulling against my chest cuts my voice short. A screech leaves my lips. My head spins and I can barely see a thing because the movement came son out of the blue and even though I quickly realized the train was just moving back so that we'd be upright and not lingering over the edge, I still felt so certain that I would fall out before we stopped moving.

“Jesus, a little warning would have been nice.” I hear Dan chuckling form next to me, clearly unaffected. It doesn't take him long to notice my shortness of breath as I gasp for air.

“Hey,” he coaxes, his voice soft spoken. “You're alright. You're safe.”

I'm quick to calm down. Everything had been so nice and something inside my brain is trying to convince me that I've inconvenienced him.

I always feel this way around people, especially those who are unfortunate enough to have to have seen me like this.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper.

“You know, I used to apologize to everyone for everything, even if it was just for being in a shitty mood.” Dan sighs. “I always assumed I had to be perfect all the time, but I never really stop to think about what I was doing to myself.”

“It's important to put yourself first sometimes, Phil. Don't apologize for being stressed, having anxiety, or anything else. Don't be ashamed.”

I try to stutter a small ‘thank you’ but it comes out in a breath. All I can really think about was how much he's helped me in the past twenty minutes and how it's so much more than anyone else could do my entire life. No one has ever done the things he's done for me or told me the things he's said before. It's like I'm waking up from some lifelong dream and now I finally understand myself just a bit better.

“I uh...I thought you would just assume it was only acrophobia.” I admit slowly. It's not that I didn't want him to know, I was just scared and didn't think he would figure it out.

He smiles sympathetically. “I may not understand it, but I know it then I see it.”

I freeze, returning the gaze. I feel warm.

“You do?”

“Yeah. It's not rocket science, Phil.” He affirms. “I knew from the first moment I saw you.”

“How?”

“The way you would bounce your leg, the discomfort in your face when we first started moving, the nervousness in your voice when you introduced yourself to me.” He explains.

“Well,” I chuckle hesitantly. “either you're crazy observant, or I was really obvious.”

He slips his hand away from mine and places it on my knee. The move is subtle.

“Maybe a little bit of both.” He mumbles. “Or maybe I was just drawn to you.”

At first, just the combination of his voice and his fingers are enough for me to catch my breath, but he knows very well what he's done to me, and he doesn't hesitate to take it a step further, snaking his soft digits under the seams.

Our eyes meet and I think about how far he would take this if he could reach further. We're currently held back by the seats, barely able to reach each other, but what if we weren't? We're still new friends, but this is all so different, and I know I wouldn't be opposed to anything he has in mind.

“I know we just met but I really want to kiss you right now.”

I didn't know  _ that  _ was what was in his mind, but I think I like that idea. It's sudden, and I can barely form a coherent response.

“Wha-what-”

I can see the immediate regret in Dan's eyes. He backtracks before I can even say anything.

“I mean, I- oh fuck.” I shouldn't have said that, I, I just, shit I just really do, I'm sorry. I-”

“I want to kiss you too.” I cut him off, my voice a little louder than I intended and catching the attention of the person sitting on the other side of him. I don't pay attention to them, in just keep my eyes on Dan.

_ I really do want to kiss him _ .

“Are you sure?” He squeaks. “Because I know I get carried away with these things.”

He goes to move his hand away but I grab his wrist gently, keeping it close. “Dan, it's okay.”

“I know we just met, I just really like you.” He sighs. “I don't want to scare you off.”

I nod in reassurance. “You won't.”  

I feel guilty because I didn't mean to make him feel as if he was overstepping. We're both on the same page here and I think he realizes that now.

In just a short hour, which is how long I notice we've been stuck when he checks the time on his phone, we've gone from strangers to, well, something else. We've both opened up about our insecurities and admitted our immediate feelings for each other.

I heard the crack of the megaphone and look down to see the same guy from before approaching, now with someone else.

“Dan, look!”

We can see them at the bottom of the ride. They start explaining how they're going to move us further back and then send people up to help us get down the stairs. The thought of walking down all those steps in the side of such a tall ride makes me feel queasy but I know Dan will hold my hand the whole way.

The sun is finally out again. It's still cold, but everyone is relieved we're getting down from here.

Except for us. Something inside me doesn't want this to come to an end. Dan said we were friends right? Is he waiting for me to make the next move? Am I supposed to ask for his number?

As we start to move back slowly my eyes are focused entirely on Dan.

He seems happy. It's hardly the weirdest thing to be at a theme park, but after all of this it means a lot that he is. I don't feel scared anymore.

“So, about that kiss?” I grin, the cheeky reminder causing both of us to blush.

We aren't even out of the train yet, but it's over. And the weird thing is, I'd do it all again.

Dan giggles. His eyes are crinkled and the raindrops on his skin are glistening in the sun. His curls are dark and he's biting his lip, but he's not nervous. Neither of us are, at least not anymore.

He tilts his head to the side, a smile on his lips and fondness in his eyes. We grip the handles on out seats and stare out into the vast view of the city, letting out simultaneous breaths of relief.

Dan kicks his foot out. The trains has no floor and that's something I've been trying to ignore. But now that I have the urge to copy his movement I realize how alive I feel, how content I am in this moment.

And then we're staring at each other again, and I can tell we're both thinking about what we might do after we're out of here and less than arm's length apart. The answer he gives me is one that takes that feeling of warmth and amplifies it.

He exhales, I lean my head back against the seat, and then he asks me a question he knows he already had the answer to.

“You maybe want to grab some coffee first?”  

~~~

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my beta


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